Showing posts with label Positive Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Positive Communication. Show all posts

Just Say It! Communication Skills Resource Book Review

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Because positive communication is a major theme in my 4th grade Life Skills curriculum this year, I was excited to check out Just Say It! by Kathie Guild. The cover says "6 Fun and innovative lessons designed to teach students communication skills to use in everyday interactions." It states grades 2-5. At $22, it's pretty well priced.

This link has 16 sample pages, including the Table of Contents, which I always find useful: Just Say It! Sample Pages

My take aways:
  • Definitely more for grades 4 and up - I think 5th/6th is probably the sweet spot. Much of the wording (boundaries, assumptions) as well as the subjects of the role plays (borrowing clothes, working on projects of out school together) are well outside the realm of my elementary students.
  • Lessons 1-5 are more about introducing ideas/concepts related to communication. They each include a series of short activities, most of which I thought were good. I will note that many of these require (cheap) materials and/or some prep work.
  • While the role plays are for an older crowd, I think they were good and I always appreciate finding these ready-made!
  • Unfortunately, there is very little (very, very little) in the way of activities to actually practice/reinforce/apply the concepts. I like my lessons to do more than introduce/plant seeds, so this was a little disappointing to me.
  • There's a BINGO and a word search included. I just feel like these are cop outs and I often feel a little bummed to find them in a resource book created in the last 5 years.


Best use:

I imagine this being really great for if you push into 5th-7th grade classrooms made up of students with high-functioning autism or that otherwise have somewhat significant communication struggles. It could be great for a small group on social skills, but many of the activities were designed for a whole class and can't be easily edited into a small group.

Social Filter Lesson With "I Can't Believe You Said That"

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Our 4th grade Life Skills lessons continued with a lesson on using your social filter, a favorite topic of mine. We started with a chat on what a filter is; most of my students didn't know what this was. Those that did were able to tie it to a filter in fish tank. I asked them to guess how a filter might be related to THINKing before we speak. So many students were able to make this connection! My heart is always warmed in these moments.


Then we dive into the story. I use Julia Cook's I Can't Believe You Said That (skipping the lengthy pages with the parents' rules/advice) and ask:

  • (Before reading): This book is about something called a social filter. What is a filter? What do you think this might have to do with THINK before you speak?
  • pg. 11: Do you think this consequence was fair? What consequence would you have given instead?
  •  pg. 13: RJ is confused. Why? What is he not understanding?
  • (After reading): How did RJ change during this story? Why do you think he chose to change?

Being Frank is another great book for this topic if that's easier for you to get your hands on.

The students then worked in small groups to read situations and thoughts and sort them into "Go ahead, say it out loud!", "Keep it in your head!", and  "Filter it! Say it in a more polite and respectful way." This was meant to be more of a reinforcement of the social filter concept, but I found there were moments were this was a challenge to the students, especially in finding ways to say unkind thoughts more respectfully. I have these cards for sale in my TPT shop.




Once all the groups are done, we join together on the rug again. I read through each card and the student use hand motions to show me their responses. Whenever students indicated they'd filter it into something nicer, I asked them to share out on their idea.

Then I sent them back to their desks and gave each student a situation/thought card template and asked them to come up with their own example (and write their "answer") on the back. These were great! Not only did they come up with some good ideas, but this sort of an exit ticket gives me more material for future years' lessons.


**Next year, I may use this as my intro lesson (or second lesson) on THINK. While it's somewhat specific to rude thoughts, I think it introduces the broader idea that we should think about things before we say them out loud.

***This went great in 4 out of my 5 homerooms. In my "roughest" room, this wasn't ideal- they laughed way too hard about all the rude comments in the book. While they grasped the concepts perfectly, this book almost seemed to feed into their inclinations to "burn" one another. I think this book may not be the best fit in a classroom where many of the students are already saying unkind things to/about others as a way to be funny - unless you think they'll respond to a brief discussion at the beginning about how the story can be humorous but they should remember how hurtful the words can be as well.

THINK Before You Speak Lesson Plan

Saturday, September 17, 2016
The theme for most of the year in 4th grade's Life Skills lessons is positive communication. We'll tie many of our lessons back to the idea "think before you speak". A couple weeks before I started the lessons, I crafted what I thought what an awesome lesson. I was pretty proud of myself. Did I live up to my own hype? Nope.

First mistake was trying to use the "our words are like toothpaste" metaphor with an incredulous and opinionated cohort (see here for my account of this fail).

Second mistake was trying to do something involving centers/rotations (A center for each THINK rule! Students work together to learn about the rule and sort examples and come up with their own! Sounded great!) so early in the year before the classes had established class norms, learned positive groupwork habits, or remembered how to follow directions.

Third mistake was trying to replace the toothpaste metaphor with the wrinkled heart activity using Chrysanthemum - only to find out the teacher had read the story to them the previous week and that the students couldn't handle listening to a story while simultaneously interacting with a piece of paper immediately following recess (rookie mistake).

At this point I was feeling pretty rough, though there were two parts to the lesson that were going ok. My second "hook" if you will was to do Stand Up/Sit Down. We sat in a circle and I asked them to:



This proved to be all the intro I needed and was also a great way to have some movement in the lesson since they were no longer going to be rotating. Everyone moved back to their desks and I projected the THINK poster I made (happy to send you mine, or there's tons for free on TPT).


The examples I'd originally adapted or made up for each of the rules in centers were also successful. They weren't so much of a "push" or "challenge" as I like, but they very clearly illustrated each of the rules. Some of the examples were inspired/adapted from this game on TPT. This time, instead of having them on cards for centers, I made a PPT to walk us through them all. While the answer of "which example fits the rule" was usually pretty obvious, my students still loved writing their answer (with a number or an arrow) on a white board to put up in the air for me. They also loved when, before the examples when I was explaining each rule, I did another example by "picking on" one of them and using them. (Side note: I get more participation when I ask "Who can I pick on for this next example?" than I do for anything else).



By the time I finally got these two parts figured out, I was on my last lesson which I knew was going to get cut short due to a fire drill. I ended it by having the students do a self-reflection exit ticket where they told me which THINK rule is the hardest for them to follow and which THINK rule is the easiest for them to follow. I used a similar exit ticket in the other homerooms and found that most kiddos could self-identify that they struggled with the "true" and "necessary" rules. For my super pro-social students, "inspiring" was their challenge. In some ways, this also functioned as an informal needs assessment to help me identify which THINK rules I need to hit harder and more specifically throughout the rest of our curriculum.

"Necessary is hard for me. I like to talk a lot"

When I get the real do-over of doing this lesson next year and have it down better, I'd like to incorporate either a more comprehensive self-reflection processing sheet (probably will save that for a review of the THINK rules in the spring) or a fun foldable. See below for the foldable I made in anticipation of doing this lesson again next year or in a small group.


Future lessons we were already slated to hit in this area are: body language and tone of voice, social filter, gossip/rumors, "Talk it Out", perspective taking, and quality compliments. 


Body Language and Tone of Voice Lesson Plan

Saturday, September 10, 2016
Another new 4th grade lesson, another set of challenges and reiterations until I got it just right. Our August B lesson in 4th grade continued our positive communication unit with a focus on body language and tone of voice.

We started off with reviewing the questions we need to ask ourselves when we THINK before we speak. I was pleasantly surprised with how they did - win! Then we watched the Pixar Short "For the Birds".


I asked them:

  • At the beginning, what were the little birds thinking and feeling about the big bird?
  • What was the big bird thinking and feeling about the little birds?
  • At the end, what were the little birds feeling, after they’d lost their feathers?
  • We don’t know what words they were saying in the video, so how do we know all those things about what they were thinking and feeling? Body language and tone of voice!
  • Today that’s what we’re going to talk about, body language and tone of voice. (I had my    kiddos repeat both of these because they were new phrases to many of them)
Next was specifically discussing body language and practicing "reading" it. I had different student volunteers come to the front for role plays with me. I also assigned a “director” to call “action” for each skit to get more in on the fun. Depending on the abilities of the class, you could have student volunteers be sending the body language message instead of you but mine weren't ready for this just yet.



  • Role Play #1: Student was asked to tell me aaallll about their family. While they did, I tapped my foot, looked at my watch, sighed, turned side to side, and avoided eye contact. (this is what you see us doing above - on a casual Friday - with my baby bump on display)
  • Role Play #2: Student was asked to tell me what happens in their favorite movie. I leaned forward, kept a still body, used comfortable eye contact, and nodded.
  • Role Play #3: Student was asked to give me a long list of excuses as to why they didn't do their homework. I put my hands on my hips, pointed, rolled my eyes, shook my head, and had tense muscles.
  • Role Play #4: Student was asked to tell me about the big birthday party they were about to have. I hunched over, looked down, avoided eye contact, and fiddled my hand
After each of those acts, I asked the class to describe what I was thinking and feeling; what message I was sending. Then they gave me specific "clues" based off of my body and face.

We then moved onto the rug and sat in a circle, with students finding a partner to sit next to on their way over. I asked them:
  • What does tone of voice mean?
  • Put both hands up if someone has ever told you to watch your tone of voice.
  • Pull your ears if you’ve ever been talking to someone and their words were ok but you wished they had used a different tone of voice.
  • Push your nose if you’ve ever said something and then thought you should have used a different tone of voice. 
Next up was giving each pair a card with a scenario and a line of dialogue on it. They were instructed to: 1) read the situation, 2) discuss what would happen if they used the wrong tone of voice, 3) each take a turn practicing saying the words/line/dialogue using the correct tone of voice. Before we started, we talked about the importance of only practicing the correct way to say it so that the wrong way didn't get stuck in our brains.


We finished up with a quick exit ticket on a post-it. I asked the kiddos to identify a situation or scenario (pulling from the examples we used as a class if needed) that they have trouble using the correct tone of voice in and need to work on. Most of them said it was when their mom was trying to get them to do something, and a few acknowledged they have trouble using a kind tone of voice when someone using a mean tone of voice with them first.

In one of my classrooms, I did a 10 minute "Quiz, Quiz, Trade" with some discussion questions and task cards I came up with. If I was doing a longer lesson, or was able to make this a two-parter, I would use them as well.



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